Katy (32_flavorz) wrote in thorpedo_speedo,

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Fic:Parlez Vous Francais?

Title:Parlez Vous Francais? *(Do You Speak French?)
Author:Me! Katy
Rating: PG
Pairing: Thorpe/Phelps
Warnings: Bad French translations
A/N: This came into my head after watching Michael swim at worlds last night. My sincere appologies to any serious French speakers out there. It's been a while since I've taken a French class. There are translations, so PLEASE don't worry. As always, I unfortunatly do not own Ian or Michael. Reviews are always helpful and welcome. Hope this isn't to confusing for you. THANKS!

"Hello. Ian Thorpe speaking."

"Ian! Thank god I found you. I've been trying to call you all day! Where have you been?"

"Michael please, calm down. What's the problem baby."

"I want to go home. I don't want to be in Montreal any longer." Michael whined

"Aww are you homesick Mikey? What's wrong with Montreal? I would love to be there right now, swimming, and lying naked with you all night...."

"Ian you're not helping." Michael pouted

"I'm sorry . So what's wrong with Montreal?"

"Everything is so French! Some girls were making fun of me yesterday, and I couldn't undestand a word they were saying."

There was a long pause on the phone, until Ian began to roll with laughter.

"Ian you're not helping! Don't laugh."

"I'm sorry Michael. I really don't mean to laugh, but that's so funny." he said giggling


Ian continued to laugh, until there was another long silence over the phone.

"Michael mon amour. Si je vous avais en ce moment, je rendrais amour vous toute la nuit longue.

"Ian!" Michael complained, growing frustrated

"Le sexe avec vous n'est rien mais merveilleux, et j'aime svp à vous Michael."

Michael began to realize that although he couldn't undestand a word of what Ian was saying, he was getting hot thinking of the foreign words spilling from Ian's lips.

"Vous me rendez dur en ce moment, pensant à votre âne serré et à votre belle peau bronzée. Je veux tout le vous Michael."

Ian smiled as he heard small moans coming through the phone. He never thought this would turn Michael on quite so much.

"Michael, dès que vous deviendrez à la maison, je vais dépouiller vous, et le va te faire foutre toute la nuit. Je ne peux pas être sans vous plus long, et je dois vous avoir entre mes cuisses."

Michael's warm-up pants were beginning to grow painfully tight, and he cursed Ian for doing this to him.

"Au revoir mon amour. Puits de sommeil. J'attends avec intérêt de vous avoir bientôt. Bonne nuit."

With that Ian hung up the phone, and Michael groaned as his painfully hard erection strained against his pants. It didn't matter what Ian had said to him, he was hot and needed him now. Michael stepped in the shower, taking care of his throbbing penis, and decided that no matter what, he had to know what Ian had said to him.
"Hello. Ian speaking."

"You're evil you know that."

Ian grinned on the other end of the line.

"Michael! I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, but don't worry. I had everything you said translated, and I know just what you said."

"Oh yeah?" Ian challenged

"Vous voulez moi dans le cabinet, avec une chèvre, et un verre de vieux lait." Michael replied in very broken French

Ian began to laugh, until he had tears rolling down his cheeks.

"I want you in a closet with a goat and a glass of old milk?!"

Michael sighed, frustrated.

"I knew I shouldn't have trusted those girls."

Ian smiled sympathetically.

"Michael I'm sorry. Would you like to know what I really said?"

"Yes." Michael whimpered

"I told you that I love you and I want to make love to you all night long. You're tanned skin and tight ass are so hot Michael and when you get home, I'm going to fuck you senseless."

Michael was lost for words.

"Really?' he asked

"Really. So please don't worry anymore. I love you and miss you Michael, and as soon as you get home, be prepared for what surprises I have waiting for you."

"Ian!" Michael giggled

"Bonne nuit mon amour." Ian whispered into the phone

"Ian please." Michael pleaded

"Goodnight my love."

With that Ian hung up the phone. Michael closed his cell phone and fell back on the bed with a very satisfied smile on his face. Now he really couldn't wait to get home. Not just to get away from Montreal, but also so Ian could speak more French to him.

"Michael my love. If I had you right now, I would make love to you all night long."

"Sex with you is nothing but wonderful, and I love to please you."

"You're making me hard right now thinking of your tight ass and your beautiful tanned skin. I want all of you Michael."

"Michael as soon as you get home, I'm going to strip you and fuck you all night. I can't be without you any longer, and I need you between my thighs."

"Goodbye my love. Sleep well. I look forward to having you soon. Goodnight."

"You want me in a closet with a goat and a glass of old milk."

"Goodnight my love."
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